I read Hetty the riot act -

< previous ... next > ... email home >> Friday 10th August ‘01 - 23.06pm: I was just getting ready to watch Friends when there was a rap at the door (by which I mean a knock, rather than someone actually standing at the door and haranguing me about urban living and so forth). I ran to get it. It was Hetty. She was standing there shivering. I couldn’t help but think she looked like a fawn stranded in the headlights of a giant Land-Rover (or people carrier). It was still raining and she was soaked through, despite wearing an expensive-looking fleece. We just smiled at one another. She said, “My lift broke down. But he gave me a lift all the way here. To the door.” I looked out of the front door instinctively, but she told me he had gone and that she’d spent the last couple of minutes trying to pluck up the courage to knock on my door. “You shouldn’t be like that. Don’t be silly. You’re welcome here," I said, which is when she started crying and I took her into the kitchen. She wanted to know where the bathroom was and I showed her. She spent the next hour or so in there. Anna phoned (as I was just coming to the end of Friends. It wasn’t one of the better episodes, though I did enjoy some sporadic moments and got most of the jokes.) She wondered if I wanted to go round. I said I’d be happy to see her on Sunday. She went quiet at that point. When Hetty came out of the bathroom she was wearing her pyjamas. Tartan, with a teddy bear motif. I tried to look away but obviously by this point I realised that she was going to have to stay the night. Well, I went and fetched a copy of Mr.Tideswell’s “Rules and Regulations” which he gives to all tenants. I have long ago memorised this document, but I wanted to make Hetty’s stay official and not just look as if I’m coming out with a load of rules which are of my own devising. She looked a bit frightened when I showed her the document, and in particular drew her attention to paragraph 8.4(ii). In this part it clearly states that visitors are not permitted to stay overnight under any circumstances and that tenants are responsible for vacuuming and cleaning the property upon expiration of the tenancy (I could never understand why he grouped those two rules together under one paragraph. Knowing Mr.Tideswell he probably had some good reasons. I know I wouldn’t have banded them together.) Anyway, when I’d finished reading from the document Hetty looked very tired. I feared she was about to either nod off there and then (in the hallway) or burst into tears again - or both - so I quickly showed her the front room downstairs where she would be able to lodge for the night. “Then in the morning I’ll nip you round to Sam and Phil’s house on the bus”, I said. By this time I was quite tired myself. She said, “Can’t I stay with you?” and I started reaching for Mr.Tideswell’s document again. She said, “I’ve missed you.” I didn’t know what to say. I kept thinking about Anna and her children, and how they’d probably all be goggle-eyed at the sight of the elephants and so forth at the zoo, or safari place. “Night, Hetty,” I said. “Can we talk in the morning?” She acquiesced then. I just caught the last hour of the Arts Programme on Radio 2 before falling into a deep sleep. < previous ... next > ... email home >>

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