Shepherdsfield (Pop. 90,000) -
Home to Michael and Ellen Macintyre. They live in a three-storey four-bedroomed detached house on the outskirts of Shepherdsfield. The town is well-appointed, with modern facilities, such as shopping centres, a big leisure centre, and desolate arcades for youths to practise skateboarding feats. It also boasts quick access, by road or - for the more adventurous in life - via an extensive network of well-maintained footpaths, to the beautiful Peak District. Michael and Ellen moved here in 1994.
Shepherdsfield Playing Fields -
I used to hang around here after school, because I went to school in Shepherdsfield. There are some quite old swings and a roundabout that possibly does not now meet European Community safety requirements. I had my eighth birthday party here. Me and some friends and my Dad. We all had a football tournament. It was brilliant.
Shepherdsfield Pond -
It's quite shiny isn't it!
Sleepy Cove -
The name of Martin and Eileen Blarnspot’s comfortable detached Georgian house in Bakersfield, a leafy town which borders onto Shepherdsfield. It has an extensive garden, mainly so the four girls can run around and let off some steam. Eric Robertson, their gardener of 13 years, has - with Eileen’s help - transformed to garden into a horticultural pleasure ground. In the summer it is open to visitors at weekends and Bank Holidays.
South West Derbyshire College, Mayfield -
Michael got a job here as a Media Studies lecturer in March 1996, which is what he was doing when summoned to interview with Sir Art with a view to becoming Station Chief at Channel Z in 1998. During this period of his life I understand that Michael met both John DuBrie - who was one of his brightest degree students - and Olivia Destiny. Olivia was three months short of completing her NVQ2 Administration course when Michael started working at the college. They met and fell in love almost immediately. As far as I know Ellen has never suspected their affair. But in her defence Ellen works very hard and is totally committed to her work. She also loves Michael with something amounting to a blind sort of devotion.
Taj Mahal Licensed Restaurant, The -
Michael and Olivia have eaten here on several occasions. They serve really hot curries, and are also always happy to serve their English Option - omelette and chips. You'll have to ask for peas or beans as they don't always do them as standard. I'm thinking of asking Anna if she'd fancy coming here one night for a meal.
Tattoo Arena, Willy's -
Beloved adopted home of skiving Shepherdsfield Comp. fifth formers, and also Channel Z Television janitor Rodney Clambake. Rodney once showed me one of his tattoos. It's of a squirrel on a motorbike. 'I got this when I joined the Squirrels - they're a biker posse,' he said. When I said I didn't know he had a motorbike (as I hadn't ever seen him on one) he said he had joined up as an 'associate member'.
Willy apparantly charges by the cm².
Thames Buses, Camberwell, London -
Mave Parker worked here as a cleaner from 1974 until 1995. Among the lost luggage items found by Mrs Parker during this period: a prosthetic leg; a policeman’s uniform; a full packet of spangles; and £243 in loose change (contained in a big brown sock).
The Twitchers' Nest -
Aubrey O’Gough’s HQ, situated in the wilds of the Lake District, near an estuary . A malevolent twitchers’ nest, where 124 extremist birdwatchers have congregated to form the biggest rare birds smuggling ring in Europe (possibly excluding Finland). It is situated about ten miles north east of Windermere, with easy access to Junction 38 of the M6.
Widow's Elbow -
Home to Jenny Luscombe. A tranquil, and not a little odd/borderline creepy, hamlet in the Lake District.
